It is so important to get away from trying to persuade, cajole, manipulate, and control your teens. I want you to get in the frame of mind and attitude of influencing them. Your greatest influence does not come from finding the perfect punishment, reward, or lecture. It will come from focusing on the relationship, having healthy and consistent boundaries, and most importantly through modeling and happiness. If you are consistently modeling your morals, attitudes, beliefs, and values while being happy in life and with the people in your life your influence will become great. If you are unhappy in your marriage, inconsistent with your boundaries, and inconsistent with what you model you are going to be unsuccessful in your influence over your children.